The Horror
by Bunny Hooded Bombchu
Summary: Ch. 2 has everything. EVERYTHING. Rabid cats, eating babies, and MORE! Please read and praise! Or flame! Or I will poke you. Poke. Poke. Poke.
1. Milk and Miniskirts

Ok! I'm finally taking a break from reviving lost scriptfics so I can write something random and stupid again!!! Just like the good old script days...except this isn't in script...Oh crud, now I'm depressed. Oh, and I don't own fullmetal alchemist!

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"She found out! RUN!!" 

"USE YOUR FEET, THEY WERE MADE FOR ESCAPING DEATH!!!"

"RELYING ON THEM IS DOOM, YOU FOOL!!!"

"USE SKATES!!"

Breda, Havoc, Farman, Roy, and some other people ran terrified, through the halls, closely followed by an enraged Hawkeye. Ed and Al watched them all run by in silence.

"I guess that Hawkeye found out about the mini-skirt plan..."

"Yup."

"Then...the Colonel won't be using his office for a while..." Ed smiled knowingly.

"Niisan...?" said Al, fearing for his brothers sanity.

"LET'S MESS UP HIS OFFICE!!!"

Ten minutes and thirteen seconds later...

Ed was hanging over a pool of acid in a random room right below Roys office.

"Stupid security..." he muttered.

Somewhere else, Al was shielding some kittens from the rain outside. But enough of that. The room Ed was in had some huge computer thingy. It started bleeping and stuff.

_Identification?_

"What?"

_YOU ARE A SHRIMP_

"WHO'S SO SMALL THAT THE AUTHORS LITTLE BROTHER IS A MOUNTAIN IN COMPARISON TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

_Identification found. Edward Elric._

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Col. Mustangs face came up on the screen. "Gotcha now, shrimp! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"

Ed screamed in horror, for the acid suddenly turned into milk as the mechanism began lowering him. "Curse you Roy!!! CURSE YOU!!!!"

Somewhere upstairs...

Hawkeye stepped out of a broom closet, her pistol in hand, and her uniform spattered with blood. A job well done, she thought.

END!

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Yup...that what happens when you eat too much cookie dough. Review! Flamers are welcome! 


	2. Babies and Gnomes

Thank you, reviewers! Your names shall be mentioned in ballads and poetry for years to come, except not really! But that's ok! Kinda!

Anyway, I got bored and decided to write another installment to The Horror! because I'm writing a random and stupid Redwall Fic, and this would make a great warm-up! Not to mention the freakin' sweet reviews I got! (hugs all reviewers) So...Read and flame/praise.

It was winter one summer and spring was in bloom, the turnips were-

"What in the name of Uncle Phil's corn cob pipe are you talking about!" yelled Ed, just getting back to headquarters from therapy.

"Niisan, who are you talking to?" asked Al, who was standing next to him.

"The Narrarator! Duh! She's controlling our every move!" yelled Ed.

"Niisan, I thought we were Atheists."

"No, but-no-agh-wait-yes, we are! But-...you know what? Forget it. I give up." Ed leaned against the wall. "What now?"

"Well...I dunno. How's the Colonel?" Asked Al, making a sad attempt to start a conversation.

"Why should I care?"

Meanwhile-

"Hey! I'm not done yet!" said Ed, waving his arms around.

Too bad. Meanwhile...

"Hawkeye?"

"Yes, Colonel?"

"What. The. Heck. Is. THIS?" Roy angrily pointed to his head.

"I believe that is a cat, sir."

"What's it doing on my head?"

"I believe it is making an attempt to devour your head, sir."

"Well, shoot it or something!"

"I'd rather not, sir. Alphonse will be crying for a month."

"Then I'll do it. Hand me a gun."

And then Bunny Hooded Bombchu burst it and-

"Wait, WHAT?" yelled a confused Ed.

"What? You thought I was the narriator?" smirked BHB.

"Well...since you WROTE this, yeah!"

"Well, I'm not." said BHB. "I'm too busy laughing about how short you are in comparison to my little brother! HAHA!"

"_Who's so microscopic that I can get lost in a friggin' cottin ball?"_

"Aw...someone needs a hug."

"Yes...yes I do."

"Too bad. Go hug a tree or something. Now where's that cat?"

"It's on my head! GET IT OFF!" roared Mustang, banging his head on the desk, making it jump into BHBs arms.

"Aw, Maggie, I was looking everywhere for you!"

"Wait...That's your cat?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

They all stood there for a second.

"Well." said Alphonse. "I guess everything turned out all right in the-"

"EATING BABIES!" yelled Mustang.

Awkward pause.

"Erm...yeah. Like I was saying, I guess everything turned-"

"DA GNOMES!" yelled BHB.

"SHUT UP! As I was say-"

"Hey, if pregnant women get into hot tubs, do they hard-boil their babies?" asked Ed.

"Ugh...forget it." said Al.

And then everyone played Halo.

Dee end.


End file.
